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Biomechanics made Scalzi a sissy. Whom the gods mock, they first castrate.

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If you aren’t aware of l’affaire McRapey, Vox Day has been beating on John Scalzi like he was the probability of Japanese invasion of California. This has attracted even the attention of the mighty Roissy, leading to an entry in the Urban Dictionary. In honor of which, I’ve composed a few lines:

McRapey bequeathed his own title
Now at its use he doth bridle
We can’t figure out what he’s upset about
For he’s king by his own little idol.

A rapist at heart but never in deed,
He lacketh the nuts to enforce his seed
What say we of one with such shriveling sack?
A Scalzied and palsied, derivative hack!

For the sake of science and the new anthropology, let us peel back the jaunty ego of Scalzi’s online persona, and reveal the mewling biomechanics within.

A profile shot of Scalzi’s shaved head. Note the large occipital bun and football shaped head.

football scalzi

Here are some others to round out the picture:

5021250287_f440fc5baf Scalzi Night johnscalzi-wilwheaton ddn071711lifeScalzi_977866a OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA John Scalzi Handsome Guy 220px-John_Scalzi

What we have here is a fat effeminate gamma with a Neanderthal back of head, shallow sockets, big sensitive eyes, and a low testosterone face just this side of heterosexual. I predict a high digit ratio to go with that tenor voice and limp-wristed body language.

Some further video evidence:

His occipital gives him just enough mental juice to pump out popular nerd fantasies, while also providing a strong aversion to hierarchy and dominance, exemplified by Vox Day and patriarchy in general. The shallow sockets give him the self-promotional and political abilities to rise to the top of the SFWA, at the cost of being a slippery dishonest fuck. The low testosteronization fits him comfortably into his role as half-man crusader for r-selected rabbits everywhere.

Recommendation: Eat paleo, take Tongkat Ali, get on steroids and/or TRT, start lifting hardcore, listen to angry music, and join an MMA gym.

Prediction: McRapey will never change. Long live the Gamma Rabbit.

mcrapey

Update: For the trolololz, I posted my poem as a comment on Scalzi’s blog here. He deleted it and substituted this:

[Silly little boy wants to look big and tough to all the other silly little boys -- JS]

This response exemplifies his disdain for all things testosteroney and hierarchical. He ignores the rules of honorable combat, choosing censorship and passive aggressive sniping instead.


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