I have misunderstood the purpose of koans. They are an evolving, self building set of psychological rails that grow with the process of maturation.
I need a single KPI that captures absolute success or failure. The accurate metric is God’s accounting system, as described in Jesus’ parables of the talents.
Cyborganize is missing the tactical time execution component. That piece is already done by Cal Newport in his book, How to be a Straight A Student. The key is a paralell paper system primarily focused on setting a morning daily schedule and blocking significant time commitments into the 1 month near feature. Newport is right that this needs to be done on paper, not on a screen.
Management and execution is the traction point where rubber meets road, and what I’ve been missing.
There was an unanticipated stretch of road between finding my theoretical baseline stable health formula and achieving stabilization and acceptable performance in practice. I have to eat and smoke only between 0700 and 1400, with perfect consistency. This is not easy to maintain given interference from work, logistics, life, temptation, procrastination, and depression factors. My koans needed to be better, and I needed more biological health buffer. After a few failed experiments and slipups, I found that buffer by doubling UDCA and digestive enzyme dosages.
I read Jack Donovan’s excellent The Way of Men. Man is a killer chimpanzee with an angelic consciousness that relates to God, an amphibian of flesh and spirit. Koans must ratify and formalize this nature.
The order of acquisition, to paraphrase Scarface, is: “First you get the pack, then you get the territory, then you get the women.” Anything else is ashes and dust for a K-selected soul and knightly Christian spirit.
Social interactions with non-pack members have no value. I can bond on shared forerunner traits and/or on a common religious and ideological purpose. Otherwise, the interaction is as empty and unfulfilling as the calories in a doughnut. I need a buffer of meaningful interactions in my life to power through empty ones. I gain nothing from forcing empty interactions, whether in the name of Game, extroversion or business. Instead, I lose well-being and energy from a pervasive sense of alienation, disgust and emptiness.
When I was young, I was foolish and assumed that others were like me. I thus brought an happy energy to those interactions and made some initial progress before encountering mystifying difficulties. Now I understand that they are not like me in any worthwhile sense, and cannot muster the enthusiasm.
The proper life rhythms are falling into place. Double monitors during the day, single dimming monitor otherwise. Red sunglasses and food and smoking Zeitgeibers. The way forward, I believe, is simple management and execution, using the procedures and workflows I’ve already designed. No grand strategic decision produces success; rather processes for strategic insight and continuous execution produce results.
I have means and mobility to switch venues after sundown daily, aiding concentration and mood, although the people I meet are empty. I’m buying the Lifetrac standing treadmill to power long stretches of concentrated learning and mental effort.
I understand that everything will be empty until I have a pack, and a real pack seems a long way off. The next iteration of the Forerunner Forums should be built on voluntary Spartan-style fraternities. Gaming together simulates cooperative hunting and warfare to facilitate bonding. After the pack is formed, it can figure out territory together. Territory before a pack is pointless, because it cannot be secured. Likewise a wife.
Territory can be economic, not just geographic. To be an employee of a Western corporation is to make submission to false gods. I will not kneel to the Cathedral’s golden DiversiCalf, or join the parasitic financier’s feast. To do so is as empty as conversation with enemies. Finding clean sources of money is hard, but doable.
Fortunately, the Kingdom is a pack, and possesses absolute power. With time and execution, these things will come. It is my duty to manage my neighboring affairs, to manage what is near, and not concern myself with far. Thus the immediate path becomes clear, and the rest is above my pay grade.
Koanic is a stupid name that harks back to the Platonist rejection of flesh, a Christian error ingrained by my upbringing. When I get around to relaunching, I’ll do it under the name Koanimal. Harmony of chimp and spirit is the way. Hesse’s Siddharta is an insightful study of maturation from which this lesson can be drawn, if viewed through a proper lens.
Simple, patient, ruthless and crafty execution in the now are animal traits. Humility and meekness towards God are spiritual. Both are necessary for peace, as Joseph’s arc from slave to steward over Egypt illustrates.